When I first started in on the whole idea of trying to write and get ideas out there, I knew it wasn't going to be an easy trip. I expected to hit some bumps in the road. Yes, one of those bumps was frustration and another was self-esteem and doubt issues about my writing. Writers block was one I knew I would hit though I never expected it to hit quite as hard or as swiftly as it did.
I have sat at this keyboard every day for a while now. Every night since I posted my last blog, actually, I have sat here. So many thoughts up here in this melon of mine that I figured getting something on the page would be easy. I never expected the issue to be not knowing what to write about because I had so many ideas or words that I wanted to put down on paper. I never thought I would struggle to know where to begin.
This is made all the more frustrating because I have started several short stories or novellas or whatever you want to call them. One about King Arthur, a slight obsession of mine by the way. One about a drunken refugee angel hiding in a host body has been started. Even started one about a vampire who is... well he's my version of Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, I think. I have even put a few out there and deleted them because I read the first few pages and they sucked. I figure if I don't even want to read my own writing it has to be horrible.
Something I have pushed to do is this style of writing called stream of consciousness which is sometimes very easy and other times incredibly hard. I have put some stuff in to outlines and tried to write from that path. Those are harder. I have learned that I don't do well with standardized writing such as how to's or organized writing. I also am not good at the self help or feel good type of writing. I have tried them and found that I not only not good at them; I don't like them.
I know it is said to get better at this kind of thing you have to put yourself outside your comfort zone but I am not sure I will ever go that far out of my zone. I feel like I need to stick to what I'm good at and what I enjoy because that's where the words will flow the best. Plus, I figure if I want to read what I'm writing, then maybe the rest of you will too.